I would love to read the data supporting that statement. Where can I find it?

This website is great, but they need to include gays too! Monogamy is a cruel joke! How can I love just one man!

Ever hear of someone named Bill Clinton? He is a Democrat. He cheated on his wife.

If you're foolish enough to think that political affiliation has any correlation to fidelity, then you've just had the wool pulled over your eyes by a politician.

The Homo Sapien party cheats. Period.

@fuzzybear

I would love to read the data supporting that statement. Where can I find it?

Look... Sarah-2554906's post was an out-of-line attack, but you cannot honestly try to deny that Conservatives run on "values" tickets and then renege on those values.

That's not to say Liberals don't cheat. It's to say it's not a leg of their tri-pod running platform.

And if you're looking for "data", might I suggest a quick Google search of:

• Chip Pickering
• Christopher Lee
• David Vitter
• Mark Sanford
• George Rekers
• Ted Haggard
• Newt Gingrich
• Rudolf Guiliani
• Mark Foley
• John Ensign
• Larry Craig
• Dan Burton
• Henry Hyde

'an out-of-line attack' Who are you trying to kid? It's quite apt.

I would love to read the data supporting that statement. Where can I find it?

Here you go.

http://people.hbs.edu/bedelman/papers/redlightstates.pdf

Making a partisan issue out of infidelity? Really? Turn off your cable TV hate shows - they're eating you alive.

XN -The final statement from your "source". "With interest in online adult entertainment relatively constant across regions,
there’s little sign of a major divide."

And I guess you may be correct. Since Ted Kennedy passed, it may not be cool for libs anymore as the poster child has left the building.

You are way off base. Progressives love this kind of play. If you are not looking for a Democrat then be very careful meeting anyone through this website.

Liberals love to accuse Conservatives of anything under the sun.

I find it amusing when liberals make unsubstantiated claims against the right. I feel sorry for people like Sarah.

Subscriptions are slightly more prevalent in states that have enacted conservative legislation on sexuality (regression results on file with the author). In the 27 states where “defense of marriage” amendments have been adopted (making same-sex marriage, and/or civil unions unconstitutional), subscriptions to this adult entertainment service are weakly more prevalent than in other states (p 0.096). In such states, there were 0.2 more subscribers to this adult web site per thousand broadband households, 11 percent more than in other states.
As shown in Table 4, subscriptions are also more prevalent in states where surveys indicate conservative positions on religion, gender roles, and sexuality. In states where more people agree that “Even today miracles are performed by the power of God” and “I never doubt the existence of God,” there are more subscriptions to this service. Subscriptions are also more prevalent in states where more people agree that “I have old-fashioned values about family and marriage” and “AIDS might be God’s punishment for immoral sexual behavior.” Survey results come from the Pew Value Surveys (1987–2007 combined dataset).

Unsubstantiated? The difference may not be large but the original statement in question still holds.

Politicians (Democrat, Republican) will be scutinizing this outfit very carefully.... if not to just protect their identity but to make new contacts I'm sure.

Look in your newspapers for future stories on this, I'm sure 'Asley Madison's' site will play a part. Doesn't the media just love Obama and a juicy scandal?

"Monogamy, in my opinion, is a failed experiment," HaHa, how can this company fail with partners like them?

signed,

happily married

A p value of 0.096 means that there is NOT a significant difference in the number of subscriptions between the states with conservative legislation and those without. To be statistically significant, a p value must be less than 0.05. Therefore, the numbers stated in the study are likely due to chance, not the legislation of each state.

Oh no it's so much better to be a Liberal Politician like Elliot Spitzer and stand on your soap box and preach against prostitution and ruin peoples lives and throw them in jail.

Then turn around and use tax payer money to do exactly the same thing except the prostitutes know you as an especially mean and cruel John who beats the women up. Then you get caught and serve no jail time WHATSOEVER as apposed to those who you jailed for the EXACT SAME THING!

Then to top it all off the liberal media rewards you with a TV Commentator job! Nope Not one iota of hypocrisy amongst the Hypocrats at all!

Oh wait you cold be Barney Frank and have un age boys use you residence as a gay brothel and then claim you knew nothing.

Flash -- I am not saying the statement wasn't uncalled for or unnecessarily rude, but -- Racist?? really?? Get a grip. Biased, sure. Partisan, no question. But racist?? look up the meaning of the word.

As for assertions on either side -- it's all conservatives -- no it's all Dems. That's all nonsense. Philanderers come in all shapes, sizes and stripes. And all political persuasions. A cheating dog is a cheating dog, no matter what color collar it wears.

And Barry, it goes both ways. Conservatives accuse liberals of everything under the sun with just as much regularity. You have no more right to claim the victim card on this one than anyone else.

Everyone just needs to get over themselves. Either you approve of cheating or you don't or you feel it is a private issue between the spouses involved. Making the very act of adultery about politics is stupid.

And in case there is any confusion from you liberal-bashers on here -- Sarah is NOT the elected spokesperson of the entire liberal leaning segment of the population in this country. She does not speak for anyone else. So stop condemning all those you designate "liberal" for this one woman's statement. Now that is seriously partisan and shows a lack of creativity or intelligence on your part. I, for one, will give the rest of the conservative-leaning segment of the population the benefit of the doubt that your remarks do not speak for all of them.

Sarah = partisan hack.

Xnihil0zer0 = someone in need of statistics classes.

Saddened = a voice of reason in the howling winds of madness.

That said, I find it interesting that in the source that Xnihil0zer0 posted that Utah, the ultra-conservative, ultra-religious Mormon fortress of verisimilitude, has the highest percentage of users, along with Mississippi. I wonder if the Utah connection has anything to do with the initial polygamy encouraged by the LDS, later discarded as a precondition for statehood. Those wily Mormons love their wives (plural). The US map, with color-coated states, is on page 8 of the pdf, page 216 of the overall document. I might also point out that this source deals with "adult entertainment" not adult dating services sites, so the information is not entirely relevant to the article at hand, i.e. this is a porn study, not dating/cheating/prostitution services being referenced.

After reading another article and then this one now the "light" has gone on inside my head. It is now my intent to start up a website to sell sharp instruments and knives to people who self mutilate and then connect those people with other self mutilators so they can have relationships with other people who understand them. If your going to cut yourself at least do it in style and with someone you love right? Couldn't any more a disgusting way to make money than Ashely Madison.

To be statistically significant, a p value must be less than 0.05.

klbpharmd - 0.05 is not a magic number. There is no absolute standard for statistical significance.

Table 4
Subscriptions and Conservative Positions on Religion, Gender Roles, and Sexuality (difference, in subscriptions per thousand broadband households, between a hypothetical state where all residents disagree with the quote versus one where all residents agree with the statement)

"Even today miracles are performed by the power of God." 2.74 (p 0.002)

"I never doubt the existence of God." 2.74 (p 0.004)

"Prayer is an important part of my daily life." 1.82 (p 0.153)

"I have old-fashioned values about family and marriage." 3.60 (p 0.004)

"AIDS might be God's punishment for immoral sexual behavior." 3.56 (p 0.009)

This is utter nonsense. Sarah, you are a sad human being. Nihil, you might have a good point that subscriptions are proportionately higher in those states but this in no way indicates it's conservatives in those states doing the subscribing. NO doubt some conservatives do, just as some liberals do. Philandering has no political affiliation. But, and it's a logical way to look at it, states that have laws you think are sexually repressive might lend themselves to more liberals in those states, proportionately again, to subscribe as it might be the easier method to find an affair. I'm not really sure what states have repressive laws regarding sexuality, but that is another debate.

The real point here though isn't that conservatives argue for more fidelity and then all too often fail to live up to that ideal--that is humanity at work--it is that you seem to be implying with your arguments that we should have no social benchmarks for behavior, that anything is okay. I would agree that we shouldn't make it illegal, but I can't see the good to come from society saying that any and all behavior is morally equal either. If that isn't your point, then claims by people like Sarah are insincere at best, disingenuous at worst. Put another way...what liberal politician argues for illicit behavior? Don't virtually all argue, when asked, for the same social constraints that conservatives openly call for?

Bottom line: People are human and make many errors in life, some intentionally. But this doesn't mean we should be nihilists about it.

Well Sarah you may be right about them republicans. Since I did not read anything about promoting homosexual affairs i would think it would be of no interest to Democrats especially the liberal ones.

After being on this planet over 60 years, and being single for 11 of them from 44 to 55, I can tell you there is absolutely NO political lock on infidelity. It all depends on where you are. Conservatives do seem to have a greater hunger for it. And less concern for the cuckholded husband. But I can't remember EVER being approached by a wayward wife and politics being mentioned for weeks....if ever.

And anybody believing this is anything new either needs a life...or a new Bible/Koran/Torah, etc.

Flashdose,

For a guy denouncing hatred you are spewing an awful lot of it.

Further what did she say that was not true. Just look at the studies. The people who tend to have the most dysfunctional sexual morals are those that scream the loudest about it. Just look at the list of Republican and right wing extremist sexual scandals and arrest.

Larry,

Please send us the data if I am wrong, but it seems like it is Conservative Republicans that are getting caught having homosexual affairs and dalliances.

How did this "cheating is fine company" article turn into a political conversation? Cheating has no political affiliation. I find this company disturbing and it is appalling that anyone who takes their marriage vows seriously would sign up for its services. Shame on those that feel they must cheat! Go home if your not there or if your are home take a look at what you have. Do you have any morals? Or does your sex rule your life like a drug?

Today My husband and I celebrated our 30th wedding aniversary... our marriage has had two standing rules, NO CHEATING and NO LYING. We have had every freedom to come and go as we please, we share everything and respect each other. Sex is only with each other....and with all the toys and videos and fun things for adults to share with your spouse, life has been fun!

So all you cheaters out there... stop cheating or get a divorce.

Joy, I too, have recently had my 30th. Fortunately, you are someone willing to explore many more aspects of sex than my spouse, which I believe, adds to the marriage. When we first got married, I never, ever considered an affair, but my spouse's sex drive was not there after 3 kids. Always tired, then started school, always studying, always tired. It got to a point when I said I would no longer beg for sex. Rejection is painful, married or not. But I believe it hurts more when it comes from someone you love. Videos (porn) are out of the question, as are many "toys." We grew up different. I don't condone cheating, but I am a realist. If you don't keep your spouse happy in the sack, he/she will find it elsewhere. That doesn't mean you have to get a divorce. I still loved my spouse, and we are still doing well. I don't subscribe to this site, and I don't like the idea of cheating, but have you ever gone 6 months without sex? Don't get me wrong. I have morals, and beliefs. I don't know how you can point out the issue of morals if you watch porn. Call it what it is. Adult videos or videos is rather deceptive. It is known to destroy marriages as easy as affairs. I doubt you're talking about action or chick flick videos. I believe in the vows. But interesting enough, even the Bible points out that spouses should not deny one another (sexually) except for prayer, so that the temptation to stray is avoided. Obviously Paul knew people strayed, even though Christian, and even though they loved their spouse. Sex is a very powerful part of marriage, and if it isn't there, well...then sites like this will continue to thrive.

Yes, we have done "without" when my husband was diagnosed and treated for prostate cancer. If your wife isn't into sex due to stress, being tired, ect. then you need to give her a hand. Just asking isn't always the way to the bed. Talk to her, tell her you need to have a serious conversation. Set a time, clear your schedules and have a talk. You might find that you have missed some important things that will get you what you want. Work at your relationship, if she needs help with the kids, or some down time to study the work out an arraingment that there is at least one day or evening that is yours and your wifes alone. She may feel that the only thing you want from her is sex and she is feeling like a side of beef. Talk to her.

If adult couples want to have open relationships, that is their business. Sneaking around on your significant other is a completely different thing; it is a betrayal. It is so pathetic that people refuse to be honest with the people they claim to love. I suspect they think their partner will dump them (like the garbage that they are) and move on to find a more honest and worthy person to share their lives with.

Why's everyone bagging on Sarah? I mean, she just pointed out the obvious. Politicians of all flavors love a roll in the hay with someone who's not their spouse. I find it distasteful that the 'party of values' has so many of their own caught up in sex scandals, though. The Democrats never have claimed they own the rights to morality, unlike the Republicans.

I have gone without sex for going on 11 years. It isn't difficult. One day leads to another and then another and soon, it's another year.

As a Christian, I can honestly say we are no longer slouching towards Gomorrah, we are speeding towards it.

Way to stay on point, Sarah. Thanks for your sage comment. The world is now certain to change for the better.

Joy, you did read that I've been married as long as you? Why do women believe all men are the same? Why do they make assumptions that men are just lazy gorillas waiting around for sex while the poor woman has to do EVERYTHING. We have talked. We still talk. I help around the house, inside and out! I do everything from dishes to laundry, fix her computer, car, etc. I say with a clear conscience, that few husbands do as much as I do. And you didn't address the issue I made of the level of openness in your marriage with sex. We don't have that same level, and there is no amount of laundry or dishes I can do to convince her to watch porn. There is no amount of sweet-talking or rose buying I can provide to get her to do something she does not want to do. I respect her wishes. If she is not into it, I am not going to force it. I resent the way you talk down to me as if I didn't know what I was doing in my relationship. Talk about stereotypes!

LOL @ Andrew

Flash... Racist? Nothing was even said about race. Do you even know what 'racist' means?

GOOD JOB FOX! Glad to see that at least 1% of our national television networks still holds family values and public morals above profits.

I GIVE FOX NEWS A BIG TWO THUMBS UP!

EVERYONE WATCH FOX!

Turn off all the other junk.

If only all television was educational television. No sex, no vice and no junk. Well we can all dream can't we?

No it's not. This is just a different avenue for the same thing that's have been going for forever. Is it my cup of tea? No, but it is what it is. Some guys and some women are pigs. You do not like what he is offering, do not utilize his site or services.

Umm dude, it swirled down the drain a long time ago. It's not even beating a dead horse so much as one that is dead, decomposed and nothing more than dust and memories.

@ Steve-2057180

Your thinking and perspective are part of the problem. Because "you can" do something, doesn't necessarily mean you "should do" something. Profiting off of someone's despicable human weakness should put you in one of Dante's lower levels. Hard to believe I am of the same species. You sicken me.

Really?

The forceful application of your own morality to another individuals' is more shocking to me--and a bigger part of the 'problem'. Just because you "can" judge someone doesn't mean you "should".

And as long as people have wants, Corporations are going to be there to meet those demands. Plain and simple.

Live and let live.

Nuff Said.

I am not going to get in an argument with you Steve, but no society is not going down the drain. Generalizations are not the way to go. I am sure you can find a lot of good in society on a whole and if you took one second without being emotionally driven, you will see that I am taking issue with your point of society going down the drain. If someone is going to do something against his or her marriage (agree with it or not) that is a choice he or she will make and they will have to deal with the fall out and consequences for their actions. People are quick to talk about person responsibilities, but bristle at the idea when they cannot control how they think things should be. So, I am sorry if I sicken you, but I am trying to convey that there is more to society than what people my might believe. We are not all going to hell in a hand basket and I will continue to look at society from that perspective.

Ha! The pragmatic approach by my detractors here is quite rational. Would they feel the same if they found their husband/wife to have an account with this "business"? It requires no moral compass to look at this with open eyes.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't the catholic church "invent" marriage? Hasn't it been scientifically proven humans are not "wired" to be monogamous creatures?

Keith - Did you explain that "fact" to your wife before you married? I doubt it.

I'm sorry, you can privately do whatever you want and I wouldn't care less, but to profit from and promote others to also committing acts of indecency is something that is truly disgusting in addition to being harmful to society.

Do you want our children to grown up in a society where adultery is considered normal? To believe that "Monogamy...is a failed experiment"?!

Society is indeed going down the drain.

No I didn't Bill since I do not have a nag, I mean wife. No wife and no kids, that I'm aware of. :) Nice try on your behalf though.

Keith - actually you are incorrect! It has been proven that there is a cheating gene. You obviously know that the human brain is far more complex than any other animal's, and there are even animals who remain monogamous for life! Yes, it is true that men are more predisposed to "spreading their seed," but women have a history of this as well. It has been speculated that the penis is mushroom shaped so that the tip can remove sperm from previous partners (in the same day!) Many females in the animal kingdom have sex with multiple males, one after another, to increase chances of conception. It has also been argued that this was also the reason that women can "keep going." But male and female genes do not simply send the message "spread seed, multiply fast," but our genes (male and female) tell us to have offspring that will be as strong as possible, you know, "survival of the fittest!" I believe that our brains would have to be evolving towards even more humans who wish to remain monogamous because cheating can be devastating for children of cheaters. Children who come from broken homes often experience severe family dysfunction, and these same children have much greater chances of growing up and becoming drug addicts or being left seriously damaged and unequipped to deal with life. Damaged children does not equal healthy or successful children in more cases than those of children from a stable home. The role of the father has been scientifically proven to be just as important as the role of the mother, and it is very rare that when infidelity is discovered a family is able to stay together. If they do, it is usually a very unhappy home due to distrust, anger, and such. Not all children who experience broken homes or dysfunctional families go on to be losers later in life, but in general, stronger families generally produce stronger, more successful adults. It may take a while for this evolution of the human brain to become more apparent, but it only makes sense that this is happening already. Our genes want us to survive. Our genes want our children to survive. And some of our brains, and hopefully ALL of our brains will eventually tell us the same thing; our offspring will have the very best chance of survival if we provide them with the healthiest, happiest, most stable environment we can possible provide!

Sorry, I should have proof read my comment, but I'm sure you the gist of it!

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't the catholic church "invent" marriage?

No. Marriage pre-dates the catholic church.

Keith .. marriage existed long before the Catholic Church.

Thanks Jeff, you beat me to it. Kieth did, indeed, need correcting. He clearly has never spent much time on his history studies. Or he just likes blaming the Catholic Church for everything he doesn't like despite reality. There are plenty out there like that.

Clearly adultery has been a part of the human experience pretty much forever, or else why is there a commandment against it? Basically I think if you do not want to be married or in a committed relationship, do not get into one and if you are in one and don't like it, tell the other person and get out...however I think alot of the appeal of an affair is the excitement and secrecy, and once it is out in the open, some of the appeal is gone...like that whole forbidden fruit thing, to get biblical again

Regarding our society swirling down the drain, let me quote from one of our greatest founding fathers, a man of great wisdom and pragmatism, Ben Franklin on the appropriate prostitutes:

"In all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are these:

1. Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor’d with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreable.

2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a 1000 Services small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman.

3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc’d may be attended with much Inconvenience.

4. Because thro’ more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclin’d to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.

5. Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement.

6. Because the Sin is less. The debauching a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy.

7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend the making an old Woman happy.

8thly and Lastly They are so grateful!! "
— Benjamin Franklin

And from his Autobiography:

"In the mean time, that hard-to-be-governed passion of youth hurried me frequently into intrigues with low women that fell in my way, which were attended with some expense and great inconvenience, besides a continual risque to my health by a distemper which of all things I dreaded, though by great good luck I escaped it."

So, in brief, sexual licentiousness is neither new, nor necessarily attributable to men of no conscience, no virtue or men of general contempt-- on the contrary, sexual escapades attend some of the most storied men of history. Therefore, I must conclude that society is not circling the proverbial drain, but rather that new technology has only made more obvious that which was occurring all the time in the dark corners of the mind and the city.

Swirling? Hell, it's diving in ahead of the drainage!!

Anti capitalists railing against this businessman.

Must be a pinko, Steve!

As far as I am aware it is illegal in all states to comit adultry. So to help facilitate a crime is basically an accessory to that crime. He should be jailed on as many counts as the site has provided.

tac210, you must realize that when the 10 Commandments were made, women were considered property of men. Thusly, a man was not supposed to sleep with another man's wife, but a man, married or not, could sleep with any other woman so long as she was not already married. Society has changed quite a bit since then, as have the interpretations of the 10 Commandments. Just an FYI.

ectogamit:

Prostitution adultery and other vices are not illegal in all states, in fact. Perhaps you might read a little more.

Profitting from man's weaknesses is a way of life on earth. Ever heard of alcohol or cigarettes. How about drugs? I just got out of rehab due to addiction to pain meds. You can become addicted in as little as 7 days. I had a few surgeries and had genuine need. Well, I couldn't get off them. Guess what, there are numerous companies out there that sell products to those with drug addiction, with the premise that their formula will help eliminate withdrawal problems. I have tried 2. Both expensive, neither worked. I wound up in a facility. So here are companies profitting off those who are addicted to drugs, want to get off without the stigma of going to rehab, and spend good money, only to wind up in the rehab facility anyway. This is the American life. Whatever sells, sell it. Whatever the need, whatever the desire. So we have cigarette smokers who KNOW they are going to get some form of lung disease or cancer, but can't/won't quit, alcoholics, and druggies. And those facilities that charge HUGE sums to "help" these individuals. If they were about helping, they would do it for just enough to stay afloat. The popular rehab facility that the celebs go to, costs 26,000 for your "visit." Talk about taking advantage.

Our society is going down the DRAIN and DRAGON! Wait as written above for the first killing. The guy who started this should be sent to France or any other LIBERAL country. He is insane, no joke here! If I am wrong I will send an invitation to Bill Clinton to join...he needs it badly!

God created man out of the dust of the Earth and knew he was lonely. Trust God to know something the man didn't. He created woman out of man and brought them together in marriage and said it was good.

Men have this idea that they can play, but their woman had better give birth to their (the man's) child.

Jesus said any man who looked at a woman with lust in his heart has already committed adultery with her.

80% of men are visual; 20% of women.

Come on....this has been going on forever. All the doomsday folks love to pinpoint the end of society. Relax...there is good in the world. If you don't think so....maybe you are part of the problem?

Who's to say what's down that drain isn't better than what is above it unless you've been there...

It's funny how some people still think anything involving sex that doesn't conform strictly to what they are willing to participate in condemn it... while at the same time defending anything they personally do if someone else thinks what they do is inappropriate... different strokes for different folks so to speak...

And some people point the finger in the wrong direction too... Ashley Madison is proof that enough people feel affairs are desirable. If you don't, realize this is not justification enough to condemn such activities...

Let's analyze an 'affair'. It is two people having a sexual relationship when at least one of them is already in a relationship (know as a cheater). I would contend when a cheater uses Ashley Madison to find someone, the website itself has nothing to do with the infidelity of the hookup. The infidelity lies in the cheater.

Now, cheaters were not a spawn of the internet... Cleopatra was a cheater. So were many figures in the Bible. Some cultures think exposing a woman's face is pornographic... some cultures the display of breasts is the norm... Richard Gere was almost thrown in jail for kissing someone who won an acting award in a country where that was pornographic... morality is in the eye of the beholder... this has been true for thousands of years!

If anything our society has become more prudish over time, thanks to those who have gotten laws passed that forces the rest of us to behave as they would. Morality that is forced, to me, immoral!

So give me a break that society is going down the drain. Maybe it's your mind that's in the gutter...

Joe B, Your an idiot... You think that since this has been going on forever it's ok? WRONG!! You & anybody else that thinks it is..... GET YOUR HEAD EXAMINED! When some husband or wife turnes physopathic & comes after these people for revenge.... Well .... They asked for it.

Look... for those of ya defending this idiot - JUST GO HAVE AN AFFAIR!! See what it does to:

Your self esteem

Your spouse & family

Your inner conscience

Quit using this sicko to rationalize your behavior. He's a class-A enabler.]

Cleopatra was a cheater

...and Hitler killed thousands...does it make it any righter?

limodave: in fact, ectogamt is absolutely correct. adultery is a CRIME in most states in the u.s. in maryland, where i live, it is a misdemeanor calling for a ....ready? $10 fine. in wisconsin and michigan, believe it or not, it is a felony which can get you, incredible as it may seem, life in prison. moreover, if, facilitated by this website, a woman crossed state lines to have an affair, it could be seen as a violation of the mann act. stranger things have happened,and, yes, it's still on the books. the last successful prosecution was in 2008.

now, it goes without saying,it is very rarely prosecuted. but, i would think his point plausible that those who facilitate this 'crime' could be thought of as accessories before the fact, or even that all parties would be guilty of conspiracy to commit adultery. (sounds odd, doesn't it? conspiracy to commit fraud? sure. murder? sure. but adultery?)

"So many women, so little time"

Enough said.

Steve to be a little more specific our society is going down the toilet!

If you legally commit to someone in marriage then be committed, if for some reason it doesn't work out and one party believes the marriage is not going to work don't cheat just get a divorce.

Cheating should be discouraged, not encouraged, especially in an age where there are so many STD's, including HIV. Condoms prevent transmission MOST of the time, but NOT ALL of the time. If someone cheats on their spouse and they have kids, and both parents get HIV because of it, that person is orphaning their children. It's atrocious.

I agree with Jon Exner--If it's not working out, get a divorce; don't cheat.

Someone said that Catholics invented marriage? I don't think that is a fact because all religions have marriage ceremonies. I know the Cherokee are a tribe that believes in monogamy. When someone cheats it destroys their trust in the opposite sex. Not to mention STD's and HIV its riskier out there people. I would hate to be the one on the opposing end who gets a deadly disease because their spouse wasn't honest enough with them to tell them that they weren't satisfied in the marriage. Plus what if there are kids involved does anyone not think about the children anymore? Kids need a mom and a dad or you're easy prey to predators out there. Grandparents too.

Don't be stupid....a lot of people believe in monogamy. Outside of religion. Because they want to. Anyone who isn't satisified with one person might have some issues to sort out. But if you made a committment and don't honor it - you definitely have some issues to sort out.

Our society is swirling down the drain? Really? You believe that NOW we are going down the drain?

In Biblical times it was common to have multiple wives. You could own slaves and kill someone just because they worked on Sunday. They would chop your hand off for stealing and the men would force women to do whatever they wanted. The Romans would hold events where the city would watch as lions would tear people apart . . . and people cheated then too.

In colonial times we had mass killings, murder and genocide of the Native American people . . . in the name of YOUR GOD. People would settle disputes with a pistol duel, wherein one person would die. Slavery continued, and people would fight for slavery, claiming that freedom for all would send our society "down the drain".

But now . . . NOW . . . you claim our society is going down the drain. Sure, the murder, slavery, genocide, and torture of the past is all perfectly fine . . . but a website today that promotes cheating is where you draw the line. Can you hear yourself talk?

Awesome post Cali! :)

Cali, are you deciding who everyone's God is?

But seriously I don't think anyone is naive enough to think it's only just now. I don't think we have to talk about ancient times - I really, really hope as humans we have EVOLVED, and don't have to compare the human of 2011 to the human of ancient civilization just to justify our stupid misdeeds every time they happen.

Yeah, a website promoting adultery is pretty freaking bad. We hold onto the sanctity of marriage. It helps us TRY to be moral. Wow. Not a tough concept to grasp.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't the catholic church "invent" marriage?

No. Marriage pre-dates the catholic church.

He's sort of right. The Catholic Church "invented" the custom of religious marriage by a priest for Western civilization. They gave marriage its "ceremony". Prior to that, all you had to do was announce you were married in front of a witness (where the custom of having a witness to a civil ceremony comes from) & voila, you were married. The Church mainly did this to appease the Christian European royalty/nobility in an attempt to put an end to the abduction, rape, & forced marriage of wealthy females. No priest, it was just abduction & rape, not a marriage, so no gain of wealth & property for a man who would kidnap an heiress. It wasn't until the 1800s that the concept of a civil ceremony performed by a judge/justice of the peace was introduced. B4 that it was all some sort of Christian ceremonial aspect, as the Protestant sects kept marriage as a sacrament even though they'd broken away from the Catholic Church during the Reformation.

So yes, the Catholic Church did "invent" marriage as we now practice it. If they hadn't done it, anyone who was shacked up today would be considered married whether there was a common-law statute hearking back to the olden days in place or not.

As far as I am aware it is illegal in all states to comit adultry. So to help facilitate a crime is basically an accessory to that crime. He should be jailed on as many counts as the site has provided.

It is not....even if you spell it correctly. And I'm guessing it escaped your notice that this is a Canadian-based company & therefore not subject to US laws?

I would contend when a cheater uses Ashley Madison to find someone, the website itself has nothing to do with the infidelity of the hookup. The infidelity lies in the cheater.

Exactly. How do you think ppl cheated b4 the internet existed? They did do it. It's not something new.

If men are too lazy to go for more traditional avenues of finding someone to cheat w/ & are willing to pay out big bucks....big enough so this CEO can take home a million dollar salary....they deserve to get soaked financially.

If not this company, then another one. You think there aren't any married men on supposed "singles sites"? Think again. There's $ to be made off their laziness & all the dating sites are making it, not just this one. It has nothing to do w/ "encouraging immorality" when the impetus to cheat is already present. It's merely profiting from it as same as any motel, bar, strip club, escort service. This has also been done since time immemorial.

I find it amusing how many ppl are not only so morally outraged over something that's been going on for thousands of years, can't be prevented, & has nothing to do w/ them (allegedly), but protest so vociferously about what perfect marriages they have & that their spouse would never cheat on them. Did you see the cited stats? Cheaters are a significant %'tage of happily married couples. You just may be oblivious if you think it's not happening behind your back.

Wow, you holy rollers crack me up. You collapsed my comment, and I'd like to know why?

I spoke the truth, this article is about cheating, and you seem to be upset by it and think it's immoral, right? But when I mention a fact, that many priests molest young boys, and cheat on their "god", you are threatened by this? Look, it's true, it happens, face it!

The fact is, monogamy works for some, and not for others. As mentioned earlier, we are part of the Animal Kingdom, some stray, some don't. If you want to bring religion into it, good luck. What, is "god" going to send the animals that have multiple partners to hell?

In my opinion, the human animal is no different when it comes to procreation. We are genetically programmed to get the job done, to spread our seed. If we want to get picky, and really be offended, I'd look towards your leaders who don't understand that their seed won't be spread though their molesting boys.

Sure, you can find another reason to collapse this posting, but it's only because you want to stick your head in the sand and be blind to the truth.

You collapsed my comment, and I'd like to know why?

There are many reasons they collapse posts. In your case, you made a direct comment about all priests being nefarious. Since you painted with such a large brush, they collapse the comment so the thread isn't derailed. After all, the topic isn't priests is it?

Anyway, don't take it personally. The mods have to control the forum in this way.

Hope that helps. :)

Catholics DID NOT invent marriage. The Jews were marrying people before Christ's birth. After all, "Father Abraham... Had many wives... Many wives had father Abraham..." And then of course, you have the Egyptians, the Sumerians and the Akkadians and countless other pre-christian middle eastern societies that all practiced some form of marriage.

Additionally, I have to state that genetically speaking, men have a predisposition to cheat. Marriage is a forced institution that goes against millions of years of genetic evolution. Men are hard-wired to be aroused by and mate with women (plural) in order to propagate widely, where women are hard-wired to "secure" a steady source of genetic material. This is why men are more often philanderers and cheats, statistically speaking, than women. It is also the reason that women often don't get along with one another-- you have a hard-wired competitive instinct that makes you "catty" to use the colloquial phrasing, which is a direct throwback to the primal need to secure the male's sexual participation with you, rather than your girlfriends. It is what it is, and science has proven this. Pick up a sexual biology textbook sometime and check out the sections on brain patterns, behavior and gender. It is illuminating.

millions of years of genetic evolution

There's a line that lost many in this audience. I'd bet they never read a word past there without the hair on their evolved backs rising.

Brent yeah I realize we are in a different time than when the 10 Commandments were handed down from God to Moses...by point is that adultery is not a new issue, it has existed for thousands of years, and this website is just another way of making it easy...and for me the bottom line is that affairs are more about the excitement and secrecy for the person having one, but is heart-breaking and soul crushing for the partner who is cheated on..

Oh yeah, those 10 commandments that were relayed to some dude via a burning bush, right?

Considering we are talking about sex here on this article, I've just got to ask!

What if that burning bush was an analogy for a woman with an infection? ROFL!

For the reality of the matter is, I myself have never seen a burning bush, that is unless it was a woman's burning bush.

Well we see who DOESN'T know the bible, yet criticizes. Moses did not get the Commandments from a burning bush. He got them from the top of a mountain. Pick up the bible and learn to read.

Do I really have to? I'm just telling a joke! Trying to show how funny the bible really is, funny that so many people will follow it to their grave, especially the burning bush part.

If this site ever encouraged/enabled my girlfriend/wife to cheat I would find Biderman, or maybe HIS wife:-)

If a spouse cheats, they know what they're doing. Why would anyone want to be with someone like that? Say good bye and get over it.

That is a very good point. I can truly see it now:

"Husband kills wife and her lover...he went through her emails at Ashley Madison to discover where they were meeting..."

You know, zbugs, you bring up something that I didn't even think of. You're probably right; it will happen sooner or later.

The internet has a history of being a good way to deceive people into a dangerous or otherwise undesireable situations. I just hope users are aware of the risks. It would be safer if they didn't partake in the first place.

I think I can see why your girlfriend/wife might be interested in cheating there, rapture.

When a woman marries a man her body belongs to him and his to her. Too many men got the first part, but ignored the second.

Somnonaut... what do you not get about the fact that when most couples sign a marriage contract they are agreeing to be faithful? No you do not own your spouse but you are operating on the assumption that they are going to not cheat because they married you. you want to tell some woman who ends up with AIDS and a newborn who also is HIV positve because her husband met some bimbo on this site, to just shut up and accept it? If he can not be faithful to someone he is married to, then he needs to not be married. Is it so hard to see how diseases are spread so easily?? a guy can be infected with herpes and not have any outward signs, yet infect every woman he has slept with. A woman not showing any signs, who takes the word of the previous guy.. and pass it on to any man who she sleeps with ( after all even the older lady is on her second guy from the site). This can also be passed on to the wives and KIDS they have. My ex cheated, he never had a cold sore until he started dating the bimbo. Now he gets them all of the time ( cold sores are a form of herpes). all it takes is his kissing his daughters good night while he has a sore and well there ya go.. little kids with a sexually transmitted disease. kinda sad when someone profits off of that

zbugs, chances are the first killing will be a HANDGUN. Ban those handguns. Why will there be a killing?

Why will there be a killing?

Because jilted lovers tend to act irrationally. Especially when they have been publicly humiliated.

Rapture2010 - this site ALREADY encourages/enables your girlfriend or wife to cheat - that's the whole point.

PepsiMax aired an ad in which each scene contained a woman beating her man:

1) woman kicks man in restaurant

2) woman shoves man's face into pie plate

3) woman shoves bar of soap into man's mouth

4) woman angrily throws soda can at man's head (he ducked) that looked at a nearby female jogger.

Yeah but that was for kicks and giggles, I mean if we are to strip and dissect all commercials, we'd never get past the first one. I think what grinds the gears of most ethical folk is that this business is not only pushing and uplifting infidelity as the next universal fad, it's cashing in on it. A haven for married people to get it's kicks, this is just asking for a beleaguered spouse to take an axe to a pc, then to their significant other. And when the first case of violence pops up over the site, I wonder how they will seek to weasel out of accountability.

@Jayrocker Oh, they always will always find a way! Where there is money to be made off human sexuality, morally deficient greed infested people will say or do anything to turn a quick buck. The only problem I see with that is the fact these morally deficient sub-humans don't see themselves destroying family values. Begs to ask: What was their childhood like? Molested more than likely!

I'm pretty sure this company would have been SOL had their ad been accepted because I sincerely doubt they could have paid. All kinds of groups create bogus ads they know will be rejected, and then call the media to promote themselves once they have been "censored". Most small companies, no matter how profitable, can afford a Superbowl ad.

cannot afford*

I don't want their ad on TV, but come on, the ads are selling you garbage every day. You are already polluted, brain washed and corrupted by TV ads. The world is a great place, in spite of what we see on TV.

It's that new concillatory tone, you know how after Arizona the liberals said rhetoric should be toned down. Apparently they meant do as we say not as we do.

That's funny, 'cause all I've seen here is liberal bashing. Since conservatives like to politicize everything

It is amazing. Usually the blogs are liberal bashers...by a mile. I don't see how politics applies here at all.

"This is really awful. Just wait until the first killing.... We are really in a sad state of affairs...literally"

I guess we should also shut down the phone system, the u.s. mail as well, right? And make it illegal for private eyes to investigate infidelity. Answering machines need to be banned, and of course it will be a felony to tell a friend you saw them with another lover...

Since these are all channels by which an affair can be discovered as well...

Maybe... just maybe.... we should start to have people take responsibility for their OWN actions? Let's not ban steak knives because someone can stab someone to death with it, ok?

Peteroid... the phone system and the mail system do not advertise that they are specifically for promoting cheating. While they are used to do so ( as is the internet and not just that site) they do not glorify it. and your example with the steak knife is stupid. this site is specifically set up to promote infidelity. a steak knife is not promoted to stab someone with. if commercials were shown of a brand of steak knife that was developed specifically for stabbing humans, then yeah pretty much it should be banned. They are glorifying what is a destruction of family, spreading of sexually transmitted diseases and profiting off of it. The reason the other sites arent as offensive ( ie aff and pof ) is because they are not set up to specifically glorify cheating. It happens, but it is not advertised nor is it glorified.

Well, then I suggest you cease rdg your local newspaper, b/c they all take "singles ads" to make $. Do you really think married men either don't find their next GF from these ads, or lie that they are single & place one themselves?

The naivete in some of these responses is astonishing.

They take "single's ads" which is way different from "hey, I'm married and want to screw around anyway" ads.

It doesn't matter if they lie and list themselves as single - this isn't a company specifically marketing themselves to married people.

I don't think an Audi or Prada bag will make me wanna do the nasty with my next door neighbor's wife or legal, long-legged, giggly and pleasantly rounded daughter.

@PHE So because one person shot the wine-o behind the liquor store, its okay for everyone to shoot him as well? Not too bright or logically inclined, are you?

So you're argument is that because there is a precedent for this kind of industry there's nothing wrong with it? Well that's a good approach to politics.

No, the real reason is economic. Industry is being given huge tax breaks by the pubs, so it makes sense to start a business, any business, to take advantage of said tax breaks. This particular business can be extremely profitable shipping service jobs to India, and might possibly achieve greater tax savings if they concentrate mid/high level jobs (% of total workforce) in the US. Look for more entrepreneurial spirit like this exploding across the business world. Best advantage yet -- because the company is a corporation, they can funnel portions of their profits to support the pubs that gave them the tax break at the same time they are selling them service!

True...they sell you all kinds of vices on TV. I can't even watch much TV anymore because of that. Looking forward to baseball season!

because what they are promoting is mostly still against the law in most states. just because the laws havent been upheld lately does not mean they are not still laws. Also the fact that this site is glorifying infidelity. It is not just offering a service, it is promoting the violation of the marriage contract with some psuedo crap to back it up. end legal marriage and there is no issue here, since no marriage no adultery. (also solves the issue with the G&L community)

Phe. Really? I'm sure you already realize this but different humans want different things... So by you're "reasoning" if say...a significant amount of humans are willing to pay for sex with children or animals or what have you, should somebody establish a company based on the fact that it will fulfill those "customers" wants???

Some things just shouldn't be.

And I think the company name should be switched to WeRuinLives.com XD

Democracy is what makes our country thrive. Yet, being a slut because your democratic government allows free speech, free will and free government cheese when you pick up an STD and can't work, is just not very smart.

My first husband was bi-sexual and I didn't know it. When I found out, he moved out. My second husband accused me of being unfaithful (I wasn't) and he went to jail later.

I have just decided I don't care what his sex drive is or isn't, I am staying single. That way, there is no possibility of him doing anything. He doesn't exist.

LOL...Really, It's like The BP ad when they were discussing the oil left at the Bottom of the Gulf of Mexico.
Republicans are Pro Business and also Claim to be "the Party of Family Values" all in the same Breath?

Priceless and Breathless at the Same time no less!

Internet Explorer users, I take it?

Always an excuse why one MUST do what one could have done without. Just because you make your actions seem not so bad within the confines of your brain doesn't mean you aren't in the process of butchering your morals. Just to let you know.

PghBoy I once dated a woman that wanted to shove a bowling pen up my a**. I dropped her like a hot potatoe. Last I heard she was married. I wonder if her partner "provides her what she needs?"

Cripes bill!!!! She trying to make a split? (you do mean a pin, right?)

LOL!!! Bill way to go, a bowling pin, I mean she could have had the decency to start small for crying out loud.

Funny Bill....total BS I would guess...but funny.

No some women are worse that men when it comes to sexual fantasies. If we were to look deep into her psyche we'd probably find she likes to control her man, it gets her off. Odd but in this day in age, people are going nuttier than ever before, especially when it comes to sex and morals.

Guess we can thank the endless amounts of morally deficient nuts trying to make an easy buck online. The internet was awesome, very awesome, before porn made its debut. I hope laws get passed to where all sexually based website domains are forced to use a common extension: XXX. This way I could block all that content from ever entering any of my internet connected technologies. That would be a good day for me!

navyvet98 wrote "And we are worried about gays destroying the institution of marriage?"

No, we're worried about same-sex marriage destroying marriage. Gays are only 1% of the population.

navyvet98 - Sorry but not having a sense of personal behavior is participating in deviant behavior with no morals.

@Vincent Denali

Only 1%? Did you pull that statistic from 1952?

Try around 8% of the population in the US.

There is absolutely no proof what-so-ever that same sex marriages would "destroy the sanctity of marriage" by contributing to an elevated divorce rate. All us straight folk are already over 50% failure rate on marriages as it is. So far, marriage for the US is a big failure.

No, we're worried about same-sex marriage destroying marriage.

Perhaps you can explain how same-sex marriage will destroy marriage? I've asked that question numerous times on various Newsvine postings, yet have never received an answer.

Only one thng to say....marriage is the first step towards divorce.

then don't get married....easy.....

Tamara. Nice job! Love it!

It's like saying: "Everyone in the world is free to go out and cheat, but I myself will stick with my loving family and wife. Yet, I am not against destroying families across the world, so long as I make a good living doing so. As a matter of fact I'm actually excited about the possibilities the riches will bring me, so have at it, go have an affair."

I know. I find it rather funny (and disgusting too) that this guy is promoting cheating--a thinly veiled form of dishonesty--while whining about how the Superbowl and other businesses rejection won't let him make an "honest" living.

So, to recap, you want to make an honest living promoting dishonesty? Whatevs.

Or, throw out marriage as a whole and convort with anyone that tickles our fancy, dibs on the chicks at my job. I have been itching to get my teeth on this dark-haired busty MILF with the office next to mine. :)

and why would it be safer?? That's why adultery as a business model will eventually fail...women don't have to risk this and they don't have to pay for it.

Dan, you are an idiot! A "win-win situation", seriously? The people using prostitues and this cheaters website could do wonders for their marriage if they put half as much effort into working on the problems as they do screwing around behind their spouses back. No pun intended!

You call me an idiot, but don't provide any reason for it. Your attitude that it is a "problem" to want to have sex with other people is the real problem. You've elevated sex to some sacred covenant, something so precious that to share it with anyone but your life partner is a tragedy. Guess what: it ain't.

Why is this so hard to understand? You don't have to have "problems" in your marriage to want to have sex with other people. This idea that all sexual happiness must come from your spouse is just so damaging. We don't do that for anything else. Nobody thinks anything of women getting together for lunch with their neighbors, or husbands going on camping trips with their friends, or buddies going to a bar to watch a football game. None of these things are considered problem signs in a relationship as long as they are not obsessions; in fact they are usually seen as healthy behavior. The same holds true for any number of pleasurable activities. What makes sex any different?

Affairs are damaging to a relationship not because they involve sex, but because it generally means the straying partner is forming an emotional bond with another person. Legalized prostitution completely subverts that. If, as a culture, we could just get over our obsessive need to equate sexual fidelity with marital bliss, as well as our compulsion to regulate people's private lives, there would be a lot fewer broken marriages.

Dan you have all the morals of a cat... I have to wonder if you have 9 lives too. STD's are real, HIV is real and having sex with multiple partners puts you at risk. That is the health part of it. The Moral part is that when you give your vows to your spouse it means that you will be with them only. Or doesn't taking a vow mean anything to you. Perhaps your spouse should know this bit about you. And never give a bachelor party again cuz it is obvious that you don't believe that it is his last fling!

Hey Dan

I doubt most people would agree with you on that. Marriage IS seen somewhat at least sacred between husband and wife. It's really simple, two people get together, like each other, kiss and hug, then fall in love and my ideal view of how a relationship should be... get married, then have sex but of course I imagine you might not see it that way so maybe this imaginary couple have sex before marriage which is crap. Anyways the point is the attraction and love are seen as connected/symbolic in kissing, hugging and more so even in sex. Maybe you view it as nothing but fun and pleasure? That would be sad if that's true and would explain why you think of sex the way you do. So yeah, it's really that simple. That's why that one person above called you an idiot because sex IS sacred in the way I explained and it is also damaging family values, it's so obvious. Don't take this as me arguing with you, I'm just telling you the rather obvious reasons why someone would be against what you've said and excuse my crappy grammar and punctuation. I'm learning not to be so internet. :D lol

Joy, I'm sorry, but you are just flat out wrong about the "moral" part. What's sad is that you are so immersed in the groupthink that says "sex is bad unless it is with your spouse" that you can't even see it for what it is -- simple indoctrination, nothing more. You see it as an absolute, but morals are by definition relative to the culture they exist in. There is no absolute standard for goodness. There are many, many things which we do not consider immoral but would be gasped at in other parts of the world, or at other times in history.

You say I have the "morals of a cat", I'm not really sure what that means. I believe that society should be set up to maximize the happiness of its members. I believe any moral code which accomplishes nothing except restricting happiness is by that very fact immoral. If this makes me somehow like a cat, well, OK. (And then there is the fact that you call me immoral based on my position on exactly one aspect of morality, which frankly says more about you than me.)

I have examined part of the moral code of our society and found it wanting, for the reasons I have given. If you want to defend it, fine. Tell me why your position is more moral than mine. So far I haven't heard any argument except "because that's the way it is supposed to be" and that's not good enough. Tell me why sexual monogamy is the best possible way to maximize people's happiness, without resorting to tautologies.

I claim that the situation created by your moral code causes tremendous amounts of unnecessary unhappiness in the world. Jealousy, possessiveness, suspicion, guilt -- these are all products of your moral code. There had better be something pretty amazing to balance out the scales. So far, I don't see it.

But Dan, you never mentioned STD's. You also haven't mentioned polygamy as an option.

If we were to hold to your view of things, we couldn't punish pedophiles because they would argue that the tiny orifices of a child is "what they need" to be satisfied sexually.

Dan,

Even though I don't agree with you, I appreciate the logic and consideration evident in your position. One of the major differences between your thinking and mine is your idea that society should "maximize the happiness of its members". I do not feel that happiness is the ultimate goal, at least for myself, and I would hope it isn't society's goal either. Happiness leads to complacence and stagnation; if we're happy all the time, why change anything? Why grow or learn or progress? I find that an important function of a moral code is to present challenges to be met, so that we can learn about our strengths and shore up our weaker points--to grow and become stronger. Another important function of a moral code is to show society where its "lines in the sand" exist--even though those lines change over time. By presenting something that seems to cross that line for many people, this company is showing people just where that line really is, and shaping the public discourse about the meaning of sex, marriage, honor, etc. You're right that morals are defined by the culture in which they exist; I just don't think that that invalidates them. Rather than pursuing happines, I would hope that the goal of society is evolution--growth and strengthening for the society as a whole and for the individuals and units that make up that society. The moral code a culture chooses will determine the direction of that growth at any given point in its history, and that growth will likely occur in a chaotic mess rather than an orderly march toward some perfect end point. Indeed, I don't think that there IS an end point; I think we should all just keep learning and progressing, and passing those lessons along--including our morals. Even if they are rejected in the future, they're still important to explore and understand.

Sex is sacred. It is one of the aspects of bonding that spouses do together to get closer to each other and to God.

With your buddies, you can drink beer, play sports, raise children, room together, pay bills and generally do all things you can with your wife. With your gal pals, ditto. The only way that marriage differs is sex, which, to me, makes it a sacred act, not one to be squandered.

Lets say that Bob is a happily married man, but needs sex at different times than his wife. Instead of compromising or whatever, he decides to see a prostitute since there is no moral grounds for him not to. He gets his jollies. Eve, his wife, needs sex shortly after that. Her husband, however, cannot perform for her because he just performed for the prostitute. So she goes to a prostitute. What the hell, right?

Well, fast forward a few years with that pattern. What happens to their marriage? They're nothing but roommates, because they haven't really been doing anything to strengthen the love and bond they feel for each other.

I say sex is integral in a marriage, that it is sacred and helps the married couple bond in ways they cannot with their friends.

Dan,if you are not interested in monogamy, then do not get into a monagmous relationship and if you are in one and don't want to be, get out! It can be as simple as that! In this day and age, no one HAS to get married if they do not want to, and if they do get married and want more sexual variations, well man up and tell your partner and do not inflict the additional lies, deciept and possible disease on the partner that loves and cares about you....sex is as sacred as each person decides it is, and for many people, that includes it being exclusive to your partner...but if that is not for you, well by all means, live your life with multiple partners, or prostitiutes, but at least be honest with the people who think you are exclusive with them...

I just have to point out, that in order for you to allege that each "successful match brings profound pain and lasting injury to families", you would need to prove that each successful match is discovered.

Fact is, that discreet affairs actually enable some people to remain relatively happy in their marriages, whereas without them, they would be utterly miserable and kids/wife/husband/family would suffer. I'm referring to people of both sexes.

We have been taught to view affairs as these horrible destructive things, and that's kind of a shame, because if you put it into perspective, they are not always that. I agree that monogamy is overrated. I think sometimes affairs are justified and definitely NOT always the worst thing in the world. You've been conditioned to think that.

Sally, your comment just might have been the dumbest thing I've ever read on here and I've read some pretty dumb comments.

You don't say whether you're one of those people who have participated in an extramarital affair. If you have, I feel sorry for your husband and others who would no doubt be eternally scarred and hurt if they ever found out.

I would also add that your spouse probably already suspects the infidelity. Humans change behavior with things they do. When a spouse cheats there are signs that are telling. More so than you think.

Sally, "conditioned to think that." Really? That statement is absolutely ridiculous. Where do you even come up with that??

Even though I am not a devout Christian, the Bible is a historical reference. No one is conditioned to think anything, people may be pressured by things they see (which is why this website is wrong), but in truth we were created to be monogamous, the truth is in the Bible.

It's like saying that people are conditioned to do drugs or drink alcohol, just because people do things that are wrong doesn't mean we were conditioned to do them. And it certainly doesn't give us a right to use that as an excuse for wrong behaviors.

Having seen many marriages continue as a result of the husbands "affairs" while on repeated vacations I'll agree with you, Sally.

Most of their wives are aware of what they do while away but it's either allowed or a DADT policy back home.

As for dumb statements, certainly no shortage pertaining to religious fantasies.

I would also add that your spouse probably already suspects the infidelity. Humans change behavior with things they do. When a spouse cheats there are signs that are telling. More so than you think.

And so many women keep their eyes closed to infidelity, it's amazing. They're not going to initiate divorce against a DH who earns 6 figures simply b/c he has a mistress & has had one for 20 yrs. After that length of time, you can be sure the wife involved doesn't care about anything but the husband's wallet.

Scar_Tissue

Sounds like you've had some bad experiences or something, to make you think that after 20 years of devoted marriage a woman is only after a man's wallet.

Sally

If a man or woman is so horribly unhappy in their marriage that they need to resort to outside sex, they should probably start thinking about divorce or counseling. I do not want my relationship with my husband to continue if it means him seeing a prostitute or having a girlfriend on the side. I'd rather raise our two children myself.

Sally long before I discovered my husband's affair, there were profound effects on me and my children...namely him not being around when he was supposed to be, more fights ( started by him as an excuse to walk out and see his girlfriend), going into credit card debt to pay for the outings with his girlfriend that affected MY credit score and my ability to pay my bills after I left, and of course the times he was supposed to spend time with our young children and did not because he was 'at work' or whatever.....the effects of an affair are like ripples in a pond, they spread, and spread and because you cannot see them all the time does not mean they are not there or are not affecting others...

Others like this mister biderman fella are doing all in their power to get rich while not giving two red cents about what their fortune will do to family values across America and the world.

He's not doing a thing to "family values." He's responding to the breakdown of family values, not causing it.

That's what is sad.

Barry I kinda see your point, but the reality is he truly is doing his part, as small as it may seem, in destroying family values.

It's like a bank account, depositing one dollar isn't going to make you rich but over time with the combination of all the dollars you put into your account, you might one day get rich. Needless to say, that meager dollar you deposited can indeed go a very long way to make you a millionaire.

Jason:

Well said... carry on my friend.

Jason, it makes a person a "Premeditated murderer" who brings AIDS home to a spouse.

THIS will be a LAWYERS UTOPIA from deadly diseases, divorces, etc., in the not too distant future.

(Hope they are hiding all this money in Switzerland; the litigation is coming....)

And so darn happy that wife's aren't saints :)

U buying?

boocs2006 - If God wanted gays to "marry" he would have provided them with a way to reproduce within their marriage. Guess what, he didn't!

That is the worst excuse ever. So, I guess heterosexual couples that can't reproduce for whatever reason shouldn't be allowed to marry either? Maybe an IQ test should be required? How about a critical thinking test? I think you fail both. Hopefully you don't/didn't contribute to the future gene pool.

Bill~ I am a woman with a condition that results in infertility - therefore, I have not already been "provided" with a way to reproduce within my marriage. Does that mean I am not to marry the man I love? I'm fairly certain it's still legal to marry despite infertility, despite the fact that, according to your logic, God does not want me to. If I piss off God by doing so, I guess that's my issue, not yours. Same goes for all the gays that have nothing to do with you and your relationship with God.

Bill- what the heck does God have to do with marriage? The STATE licenses marriages, it is a legal agreement, nothing more.

If god has something to do with it, you'd better tell athiests they can't marry either!

Bill

Since gay people can't procreate, it makes me ask the question "where do gays come from?" I would guess from the sacred, blessed marriages of heterosexual men and women, busy procreating. If this wasn't the case, gays would have died out a long time ago. So even were one to follow the advice you give, you still end up contributing to the gay issue. Is there any way out of this? What did your god tell you the last time you had a little chat?

Give it up. When the over-forty generation is gone, the whole issue of gay/straight won't even be discussed any more. You're bailing out the Titanic with a teaspoon.

Sally, I stand corrected....

Your comment about God not having anything to do with marriage now stands as the dumbest thing I've ever read on here.

Todd,

Now if you are going to attack Sally's comment maybe you should back up statement with more than just a petty insult.

She has a point, Marriage is not legal without the license. So explain to us why you think a God is needed in the equation!

You people trying to make everything about God and your little hocus pocus fairy tales you call religion are the stupidest things I've ever read! Not everyone gets married through a church and a lot of us are sick of you Christians acting like you have any right to legislate your retarded religion that's ruining everything!

Fair enough SPG:

Without God creating Adam and Eve, there would be no such thing as marriage.

Hope I explained that well enough.

Hey Melissa:

Nah... trying to explain anything remotely resembling common sense to you would be a waste of time.

Go sell your atheist act somewhere else.

ummm. Todd...... so if we only started with Adam and Eve then their children only had each other to make more humans with.. so that would mean they were incestuous..... nice..

I don't believe that crap either.

Okay Todd, since you seem good at the religious side of things, answer me this. If Cain kills Abel, and their parents are the first humans on Earth, where did that village come from that Cain ran off to after killing Abel? Cain even got married in that village. Anybody got an answer?

Joy, why don't you actually go READ the first chapter of the Bible yourself. It explains it. And since you only exsist because God created Adam and Eve, you could be a little more respectful.

And @ my tea... As for "once the forty plus generation is gone..." Your wrong. I am in my twenties. It will still be discussed. Maybe you should get outside of the small circle of people you surround yourself with. I have a gay friend, doesn't mean I think its right, and I certainly do believe that gays should not be allowed to marry. I do believe marriage is sacred, obviously a lot of ppl feel this way or no-one would be on this website arguing about it if it ment nothing.

Legit... don't believe the "bible" either... it is simply a book written by man... look up the info about it.

Legit -- don't hold your breath waiting for the wave of anti-gay people to spring from the youth of our country. You may have some friends that you can bond with to support your insular opinion, but I talk to young people from all over the country. This subject is a non-issue. In fact, the overwhelming majority think we, the old generation, are pretty much idiots for making such a fuss about it. You may feel comfortable thinking you represent the future, but you should start getting used to being in the minor minority on this subject. And if you look around the world, more and more entire nations are realizing the stupidity of segregating gays as any type of a special group, either to celebrate them, or to deny rights to them.

And while you're at it, tell us the answer to Brent's question.

Legit - The vast majority of the people on the planet do not share your views about Adam and Eve. And right here you are obviously in the minority. You only represent the narrow(minded) view of a minority. And yes, hopefully after the older generation passes, the idea that gays are somehow inferior to straights will be thrown on the rubbish heap of history, along with Jim Crow and bell bottoms.

Marriage is not sacred, as 'Cheaters, Inc.' and the other 'reality Marry My Moneybags' shows have demonstrated. Such outrage to keep a small group of people from their rights and not a word about these trashy TV shows. Can you say hypocrites?

Joy, this is true, the bible is one of the oldest historical references of our time, and it is a book of mostly stories written by man. I never claimed that it wasn't. And what, I should believe your opinion over something written 6,000 years ago that is still believed in all over the entire world? Written in every different language, and is the most sold book of all time? Why don't YOU look it up Joy.

Tea not in bags, I hate to say it but your wrong again. First of all your putting words in my mouth, I never said Ihad a problem with people being gay, hence my gay friend, so no one here is "anti-gay." And I know I am not the minority on the issue, because whether you like it or not, gay ppl will never be the majority in this country, not even close, I think they represent like 4%. Furthermore, segregation is alive and well and will always be simply because ppl segregate themselves. ALSO to address you wrongly assuming that I am in the minority, how many people in just this nation alone are Christians? I assure you I am not in the minority, because anyone that believes in the Bible believes that being gay is a sin.

"THE MAJORITY of Americans 83% claim to belong to religious denominations...A majority of Americans report the religion plays a "very important role in their lives." 76% of Americans claim to be Christian. Non-Christian religions ( Hindu, Buddhism, Islam, and Judaism ) make up 3.9 to 5.5 % (and I'm pretty sure their punishment for adultery is death or something like that.) AND 15% of the adult population claims no religious belief or affiliation. SO YOU are the minority. Maybe you should check your facts before you start vomiting bs out of your mouth. 

To answer your question, why don't you take some time and brush up on your Bible genealogy. I don't have the answers for everything, I'm not God. But things were a little different at the dawn of time, mind explaining to me how some of these ppl lived like several hundred years???

@ Boocs2006, why don't you check your facts there buddy. Like I said earlier 76% of Americans are Christians. Looks like your in the VAST minority.

Todd,

So you are basing your entire argument on the belief the Genesis is a literal work. Wow!

I guess their is really no point in trying to engage you in a rational discussion on Theology and marriage then huh!

In the future, you should probably refrain from calling the statements of others "dumb" when you are basing your defense in mythology.

legit,

Actually not all people "that believes in the Bible believes that being gay is a sin." That is a fairly fundamentalist belief. Many Christians believe that Christ taught us that God made all humans and the path of their lives will be varied and distinct. Each Human has their own crosses to bear and learn from. It is how we learn from our distinct journeys and learn to love our fellow man that shows us the path to GOD!

As for Gay Marriage what business is it of mine if another man chooses to live his life with a man or a women. It is not my place to judge, it is my place to love those individuals as fellow human beings looking for their own path to GOD. The legality of it is clearly a civil rights issue. How can the State deny a license to two consenting adults. This is simple a legal contract, it is not ordained by God. Now any Church has the right to refuse to marry Homosexuals as the State can not interfere with matters of the church.

wait, wait. . . gay people CAN get married. everywhere. legally.

the ONLY problem is, why would they? a marriage occurs between individuals of opposite sexes. period.

almost everybody has nothing against gay people committing to each other. people seeking to re-define marriage will ultimately lose. the fact that gay commitments will become increasingly mainstream has absolutely nothing to do with marriage.

since gay people can only marry people of the opposite sex, and they are by definition not interested in doing so, there is not an issue there. gay unions are an entirely new thing, and have nothing to do with marriage.

Thank you ghghgh, I completely agree.

@spg64, What Bible are you reading? Seriously maybe I should get a copy, that way can just "forget" about all the parts it says to forgive others, just because that's hard for me to do. I'm sorry, but if you believe in the Bible you have to believe in the whole thing. Homosexuality is wrong. It says so in the Bible, if you want me to quote scripture to prove it I will.

Second of all, most people that get married do it before God, with a pastor or minister, and they really could care less about the actual license. They get the license because that's just what you do, to change your name and have all the legal benefits of being married. The vows I gave when I got married were not to the state but to God. And because God does not honor same sex marriages the point is totally moot.

Btw find a different website to argue about gay marriage. This whole thing is about people who are married cheating on theirspouses. And I am pretty sure ppl who are gay are also against cheating when they are in committed relationships, no one likes to be cheated on. Bottom line. So you have NO ARGUMENT.

Legit,

Please share with us where in the teachings of Jesus Christ there is an anti-homosexual message.

Now if you want to use the Old Testament I must ask if you "believe" we should stone disobedient children? Should we stone adulterers? Should we stone women who are sexually active before marriage? Should a man who believes his wife cheated on him be able to have the pregnancy aborted? I hope so because these are all things that the Old Testament Calls for, so if you believe you must believe it all right!

Get real you are not espousing the teachings of Jesus Christ you are picking antiquated sections of the Old Testament to use to support our hate filled agendas.

As for ghghgh,

Explain to me how allowing a homosexual couple the right to marry in ANY WAY effects your marriage. Please most of us educated folk are dieing to hear a logical explanation for what seems to us to be just straight bigotry!

Lets remember only 50 years ago inter-racial marriage was illegal. We finally grew past that episode of legalized cultural bigotry and we will grow past this as well.

No, Legit, where do you get your numbers? Who does these polls you're spouting from? If your numbers were true, there would probably not be a website called 'Cheaters', and it sure as hell wouldn't be successful. Let's think critically (and biblically) here.

This number, in all honesty, includes the very large number who say they believe in god, and identify with christianity, yet don't actually go to church. Then there's those that go to church and only pay lip service, and feel that as long as they confess, or ask forgiveness, they are A-OK.

Then there's the new wave of christians who actually are very unchristianlike. When I was taught about Jesus, I learned to play nice, work together, and celebrate things we as humans have in common, not us vs. them, either with us or against us, republicans are the new prophets type of people. God's army? You're joking, right? That's the biggest contradiction ever, when Jesus clearly said to be the peacemakers.

Peace happens when you learn to appreciate people for who they are instead of denying them the same rights you get. If you must have your sacred religious 'marriage' then don't give it any legal rights and keep it separate from a legal 'union' which will give the same legal rights to every couple in a loving relationship. Take the state out of 'marriage' and I believe things will be just fine.

Oh, and Legit? Your one and only gay 'friend' is not your friend if you're up here spouting your religious crap against him. He's someone you know that you can bring up in conversation to say 'Look, I'm not judgmental. I have A gay friend'

Like 'I'm not racist, I have A black friend'.

Has anyone thought about the increase in unwanted pregnancies? If you are married getting another married person pregnant can only lead to a bad situation for the child or an abortion. Think about it?

READ!

Those that play are using preventives.

And you? Don't use condoms when you BANG outside the wedlock?

Or have you become an undesirable? :o)

What about unnecessary commas?

Well said well said.......

Uh, what? You're basically saying that being reasonable and logical is evil? Care to expand on that concept?

Evil's greatest weapon is ignorance, especially when combined with arrogance.

The quotation marks around "logic" lead me to believe the original poster meant that self-justification and pretending to use logic are evil, which I actually agree with.

You can justify anything if you're clever enough = P

I'm sure it doesn't appear as "Ashley Madison". Instead, it is probably some boring name like "online resources".

Ted, do you really want to get into a debate about which 'party' has more 'scumbags'in their ranks. Since you mentioned two republicans, maybe we should start with John Edwards, Bill Clinton, and go from there!

Was Newt was having an affair at the same time he was bashing Clinton?.

Cheating on spouses seems to be the only bipartisan activity left in Washington. The difference is that the Republicans manage to also make it into act of hyprocrisy with all their preaching about the need to "defend marriage" and their talk of "family values."

Of course Very few ever take it to the level of John Edwards.

The important thing here Tex, is that when the Republicans claim to be the "Party of Family Values", you might want to let the rest of them Cowboys know afore they drop their Britches for the next available Philly that strolls by, including the General Voting Public...

The Googles can tell you all kinds of Misdeeds on the following Posse;
•Chip Pickering
•Christopher Lee
•David Vitter
•Mark Sanford
•George Rekers
•Ted Haggard
•Newt Gingrich
•Rudolf Guiliani
•Mark Foley
•John Ensign
•Larry Craig
•Dan Burton
•Henry Hyde

Tex, There is also something a Brewing on The Googles about our new Speaker, Mr. Boehner. Coming to a News Channel soon with some other little Tidbits, I am sure...

And if it amounts to much, he'll likely be gone soon. That's the real difference. Newt, Livingston, and this guy from Upstate NY the other day (already forgot his name), gone. Bill C., Barney Frank, and of course, the late, lamented Teddy, around either till now or as long as they cared to be or passed away. And, there is a fairness to this, in that if you claim "family values" and want to run for President but were cheating on your first wife with who became your second one while the first was dying with cancer and then were cheating with who became your third wife while you were still married to the second one, people are somehow going to get the odd impression that just maybe your "family values" are a good talking point and nothing more. If your opinion is that people's "private lives" have no correlation to their public worth (a questionable assumption perhaps, but one widely held) then you can be justified in supporting people who are no less guilty, just less hypocritical.

When one is truly honest, they will only speak for themselves. Alarm Bells better be going off in your head when you hear someone speaking for a whole group in either Party...

Thats your feelings..ever ask your spouce what their feelings are..you'll be suprised!

Actually I would not be surprised. My spouse and I believe in honesty. We both talk quite a bit and both believe a vow is a vow.

Is marriage always a blessed union with everyone happy and fairies and pixies smiling on you? Heck no. Anyone who says it is has been married < a week or is outright lying to you.

However, when you actually take the vow to heart and have integrity to understand what a VOW is, you work through whatever challenges you. You make it succeed. You learn YOUR needs and wants come secondary to theirs because NO, I am not entitled to perfection and joy and happiness all the time. It IS my job to see to my spouses happiness. It IS my job to see their needs met and to do my best to get their wants too. And my spouse does the same for me because both of us know this is not about ME. However, the concept of putting others ahead of yourself has been lost today. Everyone is about ME ME ME.

That thought was doubled when we brought kids into the world. Our wants again come second to them. Nothing we do does not effect them and if you are cheating on your spouse, and killing your marriage, take it from someone who grew up in a broken home, YOU ARE HURTING YOUR KIDS. Don't kid yourself, they are not alright with it and yes it will impact the rest of their lives.

But I tell you what guys, you go ahead and live in your self centered, egotistical world. You think of yourselves and damn the rest of society. I, choose to live with integrity, I choose to stick to my vows, I choose to hold to the old fashioned code of honor even if the rest of the world does not.

However, when you kiss you kids goodnight and try to find a way to explain to them why this world sucks like it does remember YOU are absolutely part of the reason why.

Gouranga:

Your comments (27.2) should be required reading for every living man and woman on this planet.

Or at least the ones who are married ;)

gouranga I completely agree with every word...

Everything you've said is true. Reading comments like this really does speak for the majority, I believe it and I will continue to believe it. I am not saying I am blind to the things happening in society, but I am glad that there are still those with values in this great country. These ppl are what make this nation great, not those with every witty excuse they can come up with to justify their wrong doings.

Amen Brother Legit!